they're just shadows searching for light

[flightpen]

CONTENT WARNINGS: character death, character being eaten


Ren's been here for weeks now, wandering Tokyo like a ghost, poking his head cautiously through doors into other places. The people are... well, anyway, most of them treat him better than he deserves. He can talk to them, and they can see him no matter how he feels. It's good. It should be good. But no matter how hard Ren tries to put on a brave face for Akechi, he's so worried all the time.

It's just, whenever Ren walks the streets of Tokyo, he can't help but think of what's beneath him. Akechi's Shadow, everything that was torn out of him, anger and betrayal and seething hatred. Hatred of Ren. Ren deserves it, he brought it on himself, he's the reason that Shadow even exists, but he can't—he can't just let it stay there, unacknowledged. He can't ignore it. He ignored Akechi once before, and look what happened.

The Shadow is dangerous, people have said. Deadly. But Ren has all his Personas again, the ones that were meant to take on Maruki; there's a chance he'll survive. And even if he doesn't, even if he dies... no one can honestly say that would be a great loss. And he'll have died showing Akechi, all of Akechi, that he matters enough to take the risk. Because he does matter. More than anything.

Still, he doesn't want to leave the Akechi in the real world without a word. Just in case it does go wrong. So he sits through an afternoon with Akechi, quiet and distracted, and when the time comes for him to leave and find food (or at least that's what he says), he turns back at the door of Akechi's apartment.

"Hey, um. Can I tell you something?"

Comments

[fogbornphantom]

Crow's hands shake. His back arches. Normally he's more composed. More rational.

Now?

Now he's rushing in, pouncing at the Shadow again. Even without intent to kill, nobody ever said he couldn't blow off some steam.

[pheasantboy]

And he doesn't move at all. The blows hurt, metal claws tear at the Shadow-stuff he's made of, but he just lies there, feeling the warmth and the loss and the absence of hunger, for the first time in so long.

1/2

[unfoggedlotus]

Yeah. Like hell is Ren just watching this happen.

"ARSENE! MEGIDOLAON!"

2/2

[unfoggedlotus]

The spell rips through the not-air of the Metaverse, crackling power echoing through the halls with a vicious bite. The ball of condensed spell energy slams down between the two Akechis and detonates, throwing the two apart from each other.

"Listen up, bastard." The instant after it detonates, Ren swoops down, grabbing his Goro. "I don't know and I don't give a FUCK what's happened with you and your fucking shitbag of a Ren. Drag my Goro into it again, and I'll make the self-made hell you're burning in hotter than the goddamn Sun. Goho-M!"

Less than a moment after he's said those words and smashed the little ball in his glove, they're back in reality, Ren clinging onto his boyfriend tight.

[pheasantboy]

Unfair, the Shadow decides, rolling over to lick his wounds, and cradle the memory of Ren inside him. Like he's responsible for the shit his ego pulls.

[fogbornphantom]

It happened too fast for Goro to react until they both ended up back in the real world, back at the station, back near Sparrow, no doubt. All the heat, all the anger, the raw fury that was ready to burst...

Fizzles out.

Crow falls to the ground as the weight of the circumstances hits him with the weight of an entire mountain.

Tears well in his eyes and he pounds the ground. "Why?!"

[unfoggedlotus]

Ren goes down with him. It's not even a question, wrapping his boyfriend up tight. "Actions have consequences. You can't protect people from them," he says, grim.

[pheasantboy]

And, in the background, wringing his hands, Sparrow has got up from his bench and is watching them.

He doesn't come over, not at once. Every part of him is full of dread.

[fogbornphantom]

He can hear Sparrow moving. Everything is spinning. The tears won't stop. It's his fault. It's his fault.

"...I'm sorry," he practically chokes out. "I wasn't—I didn't—"

Damn it. He strikes the ground again.

"...I was too late..."

[unfoggedlotus]

It doesn't take an Akechi-level genius to figure out what's happened here. Ren lets out a shaky breath and fumbles with his phone to text Magpie.

"He's dead," he informs Sparrow, unflinching. "Your Ren is dead." And he might've taken my Goro with him.

[pheasantboy]

It's like the words punch into his heart and smash it into the wall; he gasps like he's been winded. Everything around him fades from view.

"Oh. I see." His hand goes to his stomach. Any cruelty in other-Ren's words has passed him by. Sounding lost, he repeats himself. "I see."

[fogbornphantom]

"It's my fault..." Yeah, the tears aren't stopping. Crow can't control his sobs. "If I'd just— I could have been faster. I just..."

What can he even say? What can he even do?

He feels so small.

[unfoggedlotus]

"It isn't. You didn't make his decision for him," Ren says, holding his boyfriend tighter. "People making decisions for others is why they're in this mess." Slowly, Ren stands up, helping Goro stand, too. He lets out a big sigh, words going gentle. "Let's go home, ok?"

[pheasantboy]

But Akechi is still standing there, alone, twisting his hands. Dead. How does he begin to understand that?

[fogbornphantom]

"...Igor." Crow tries to get back up, tries to regain some grounding. "We should... We need to talk to Igor. He'll know..."

Something. Won't he?

Can't he do anything? He brought them all here. Turned Magpie and the other Ren into children.

He has to...

[unfoggedlotus]

"We'll go through the Velvet Room on our way home," Ren promises, rubbing his boyfriend's sides.

And. Well.

He looks at Sparrow.

Fuck him. But also.

Ugh. Doing right thing sucks.

"Come with us," he grunts.

[pheasantboy]

Snapped out of his own little world, Sparrow blinks down at Ren as if he's been slapped. "What?"

What is he going to do? What happened? What if... what if...?

[fogbornphantom]

"...You shouldn't have to be alone." Sighing heavily, Crow almost limps toward the general direction of the Velvet Room door, which is...

Oh.

There's one right there. Perhaps Igor knew they needed it now more than ever.

What are they going to do?

[unfoggedlotus]

"Not your fault, either," Ren says, curtly. "You're not the bad guy here. C'mon." Ren starts limping alongside his boyfriend, following him to the Velvet Room door.

[pheasantboy]

For a few moments, he watches them with wide, stark eyes. Their words can't touch him. Ren is gone.

He's never wanted so badly to go home. Perhaps Igor will send him there. Picking up his feet, he plods after them, and into the Velvet Room.

[flightpen]

And in the Velvet Room, suspended in midair before Igor's desk, a dark-haired figure lies unconscious. His skin is bloodlessly pale, his breathing slow and shallow, and he's missing most of his fingers and the end of his nose. Those areas are blanketed in glowing blue light, which shimmers and changes as his body finishes its regrowth. In a few places, a faint blue glow shines out through his clothes, as concealed parts of his body regenerate.

Igor looks up somberly as they enter, but Ren doesn't stir.

[unfoggedlotus]

"Welcome. It appears," Igor begins, peering at them over his desk, "that you've discovered what occurs when someone meets their end in this place." A quick wave to the floating, unconscious Ren. "Death...such a thing is highly inconvenient for the formation of new bonds, I believe you'll agree. At least, of the permanent sort." Igor rubs his hands together with a chuckle. "There is nothing of that nature here. Those who encounter such unfortunate circumstances as would warrant permanent death will simply return to the Velvet Room and be...restored to the state they were previously."

"So he's alive," Ren sums up.

"The body can be remade without issue. The soul remains intact as it was. But the memory of death may or may not linger in the mind..." Another handrub and chuckle. "I leave these matters to you."

[fogbornphantom]

Crow should be elated. If that Ren is alive, that means the tragedy's been undone. It should be okay. It should be fine. It should...

But he can't help but stare aimlessly as Sparrow's Ren reforms. As Igor said, the mind may yet bear wounds.

"...I'm glad this isn't the end for you," he says to Sparrow, still numb.

[pheasantboy]

Sparrow has already flown forward and dropped to his knees before Ren, momentarily elated—then wilting, as he examines Ren's closed eyes, the blue light around his nose, and his half-formed hands. As Igor speaks.

The memory of death... what does that mean, with Ren's memory as strange as it is? He looks up at Igor, eyes flashing; that chuckle got on his last nerve. "It's not funny! Don't laugh at him!"

[unfoggedlotus]

Igor simply grins. "Your loyalty to him is admirable. He will return to you once his restoration is complete."

"Sparrow, you won't get anything out of him," Ren grunts, then angles both himself and Crow towards the door. "Wanna come with us or stay here?"