say you'll resurrect me as a young deepfake

[flightpen]

It's been an okay day. Ren hasn't had to be around many people, which has been the main high point. He's trying not to think about what that says about (what he did) everything.

But there have been other good things. His friends have been having the same conversation as each other in the group chat, instead of saying disconnected nonsense. And Ren finally dared to think, This reality is a twisted wasteland, and it's only going to get worse, and he didn't lose time or anything. He was just allowed to think it and remember that he thought it. So that's good to know.

Right now he's behind the counter of Leblanc, apron on, practicing making coffee with a less popular type of bean. Maruki knew better than to make him an instant expert. Maruki also hasn't seen fit to give Leblanc more business, but Ren likes it that way.

(He also tries not to think about how that might be why Sojiro doesn't get more customers in a so-called perfect world. Because Ren, God's favorite, doesn't want them here. None of that right now. He's making coffee.)

Comments

[flightpen]

Ren does open the box, and slide it across to Akechi as well. He keeps the counter between them as he picks up his coffee cup and takes a sip.

A rich flavor, but mild. Chocolatey, almost. Ren almost prepared it right, but his timing with the pours was maybe a little slow. It's still pleasant, though. Not too intense to drink.

Is it bad that coffee can still make him feel better...? Either way, he's not going to turn it down.

[pheasantboy]

Akechi takes a sip too, and pulls off his right glove to rest a cookie on his saucer. "This is very good." He takes another sip, thinking about it.

"Should it be a little weaker than this? Or did you nail it?"

[flightpen]

Ren's eyes linger on the glove.

"Yeah. I'll pour faster next time."

He doesn't want to hear Akechi talk about work, or about his day. There's no question he can ask that's good, really, so he just goes with the fairly safe, "Been reading anything good?"

[pheasantboy]

He's just launching into a spiel about it—something nonsensical and interminable-sounding about the law regarding voluntary imprisonment—when he glances up and see's Ren's face. Again, he hesitates, his stream of words cut off. Wasn't there something before...?

"Ren..." It's very careful. "Are you sure you're all right? You don't look well."

He has probably said the same thing before, a dozen times.

[flightpen]

Ren stares down into his cup.

"I think I'm going insane, actually. Or if not yet, then soon. I just wanted to help that woman, you know? Back home. That's all I..."

His own face looks back up at him, reflected in the coffee. Turns out he doesn't feel any better after all for having said all that.

[pheasantboy]

"Hey." It's very soft. Akechi reaches for Ren's hand, with the hand without its glove.

[flightpen]

Ren doesn't pull away, but he swallows as their hands touch. "Sorry."

What was even the point of saying that? He's just worried Akechi.

[pheasantboy]

But he's not worried. He just wants to help. His thumb strokes the side of Ren's hand, almost absently. "See? There's nothing to worry about. Everything's fine."

Unfortunately, then he keeps talking. "What woman was that?"

[flightpen]

...Ren's stomach twists. It's selfish to try to use Akechi for his own comfort. He chose this existence for Akechi; the least he can do is try to make it as good for him as he can.

"No one. She's fine now." That much is definitely true, anyway. "You were telling me about your book."

[pheasantboy]

"Was I?" And he squeezes Ren's hand. "Something tells me it's not that important. You look as if all your wet weekends came at once."

But he doesn't ask about the woman again. He seems worried, the way a sad story might worry you as you scroll past it online. "What is it? Did you argue with Boss? With Morgana or Futaba-chan?"

[flightpen]

"Just having a bad day." He thinks back on half an hour ago, before Akechi showed up. "Don't worry about it. I'll be fine."

[pheasantboy]

"All right, then." It's like there's no fight left in him. His smile is sweet and empty and, still, utterly trusting.

"Would you like me to text Okumura-san or Niijima-san? I'm sure we could cheer the place up. I like the quiet, but it's not the best if you're down." And then, of course, Akechi would talk to them, and ignore Ren. Not even meaning to.

[flightpen]

"I..." No, he doesn't want to see them. As bad as this is, the low sustained pain of Akechi trying so earnestly to talk to him, and smiling at him so sweetly, prickling Ren's skin with the wrongness of it—if Akechi drops him the moment their friends show up, which he will do, it'll make everything that came before so much worse. None of it was real. Nothing is real.

But that's selfish.

Ren swallows. "Do you want to invite them?"

[pheasantboy]

"I do." Soft and sweet and honest. "It's nice to have our friends around, don't you think? It's lonely without them."

Nice. Such a bland word, and yet so revealing of what was perhaps going on in his head, that last January and even before. His hand is still on Ren's, and he squeezes it again. "But I don't mind it being just the two of us, either. I just wish you were feeling better."

His eye falls on the little flower again, and he offers it an unfocused smile. It's so pretty. So alive.

[flightpen]

Then why didn't you hang out with us? I invited you so many times.

But Ren knows why, really. He just thought... he doesn't know. He thought they'd have time to coax Akechi out of his shell normally.

"I'll be okay." What he means is, he'll try harder to seem okay. He gives Akechi a little smile. "I'm just kind of tired. Don't worry about me. I want to hear about your book."

[pheasantboy]

Tired? That makes sense, doesn't it? He sips the coffee again, glancing dreamily from the flower to Ren. It's not that he doesn't look tired...

"I can't believe you're this interested in the rules of evidence. Why, it's like you have a guilty conscience. Oh, one moment—" He doesn't laugh at his own joke. Instead, he pulls out his phone, and sends a quick text, to Haru Okumura.

Goro Akechi: It seems it's happening again. He says he's tired, but it's as if he hasn't slept for a month.

While he has his phone out, he takes a picture of the flower, with a bright smile; he shows it to Ren, who isn't in the picture. "See?"

[flightpen]

He flinches at the remark about his conscience, but as usual, Akechi is already looking away. Not that Ren has the right to be bitter about that. When Akechi is done texting... whoever, probably Haru... Ren leans across the counter a little to look at the picture.

"Yeah. They look good in here. Yusuke would want to paint them, I bet." See? He can talk. He can make an effort not to mope. "You're right, though. I'm not actually interested in the rules of evidence. I just want to hear you talk about them."

That part is true, though. It was always true.

[pheasantboy]

"You want to hear me talk, really?" The enchanted little smile creeps back onto his face. "That sounds like flattery, but that's not necessarily a bad thing. And you're right about Kitagawa-kun. I should text that to him." Which he immediately does, setting his phone back on the counter.

"To be honest with you, Sae-san recommended the book. I think she suspects me of not being up to speed." He's glowing; he admires Sae tremendously, and is proud to work for her, and nothing more. "You have to respect her dedication to the law. And truthfully, the book is fascinating. I'm learning a lot...."

He prattles on a little more, about documentation and interrogation procedure and so on. And then his phone vibrates; he reads and responds as if Ren's not even there.

☕ Haru Okumura 🌺: Now you come to mention it, isn't that just how he was on Sunday at Leblanc? He was miles away. It was as if he didn't want to talk to any of us. Even you, Akechi-kun.

Goro Akechi: I don't remember that. I was so interested in Kitagawa-kun's upcoming show. That was terribly good news, and such an exciting new work for him.
Goro Akechi: Is it possible we overlooked Ren a little?

He sets his phone back down, glancing back to Ren with a frown. Something odd dances in his eyes, as if he was momentarily truly happy, or as if he was just hypnotised. "That was Okumura-san."

[flightpen]

Ren still really hates that smile. But once it's gone again, he actually does manage to relax, more or less. Akechi is comfortable, he's having a good time explaining his book, and even with all the fire gone out of it, his voice is pretty. Ren leans against the counter and lets the words he half-understands wash over him.

Then Akechi gets a text, and it's like Ren doesn't exist. The abruptness of it is like a bucket of ice water thrown in Ren's face. But he's tired, and he feels less like he's on the precipice of insanity than he did a few minutes ago. The boring book talk helped, weirdly. So he just gives the top of Akechi's head a brief, resigned look and takes their dishes to the sink.

He's on his way back when Akechi looks up and speaks to him. "Yeah? How is she?"

[pheasantboy]

He looks carefully over Ren—the angle of his shoulders, the slant of his mouth. He seems more normal than he did, but is that significant? "She's concerned, too. She thinks you weren't well on Sunday."

His phone buzzes again, and he smiles as he reads the message....

☕ Haru Okumura 🌺: We may have. Everybody was just so excited. By the way, Father is organising a business lunch next Saturday. I'm looking forward to it, but it will be a lot. Would you like to join me for coffee, afterwards?

Goro Akechi: That sounds delightful, assuming Sae-san doesn't need me for anything. I'll let you know.

Goro Akechi: You don't need to worry about those lunches, though. Everyone adores you, and your father won't let anything go wrong.

☕ Haru Okumura 🌺: 😊 All the same, it would be nice to relax with a friend. Do tell me if you can't make it. I'll see if Mako-chan would like to join me instead.

... and he glances back up, blinking at Ren, soft smile fading as he sets his phone aside, having been lost in it for three minutes. Where were they? "... as I said, she's very well. Wants me to join her for coffee on Saturday."

[flightpen]

Yep. That's exactly what Akechi was saying, right before he started thinking about anything else.

Ren lets out a breath, too quietly for it to be called a sigh. It's not Akechi's fault, or Haru's, or anyone's but his.

"Doesn't she have a thing on Saturday?" Not that she would think to tell Ren about it in this reality. But he overheard her telling Makoto.

[pheasantboy]

"Yes, a business lunch with her father." You'd think he never had anything but respect for the man, or any issues with parents at all. "But you know how those things can be. Quiet time with a friend after a lot of work is nice to have."

Like they're having now, in fact—or so he thinks. He sips his coffee, watching Ren not meet his eyes. "What are you doing on Saturday?"